5 rules for Befriending Your Dorm Mates

After an 8-hour flight, there is nothing you want to do more than have a shower and a sleep. After climbing into the top bunk bed and snuggling into the covers you feel something slippery down by your feet. Thinking its nothing you kick around trying to push it off the edge of the bed – you can deal with it in the morning. But it’s stuck to your foot.
Turning the small reading light on you bend down to detatch the thing stuck to your foot… its repulsive and defiantly not yours – it’s a lovely (used) condom…. We all have our terror tales from hostels but I’ve composed a short list of things that everyone should do if they want to befriend their fellow dormies.
  1. Upon getting home at 3am, turn every light in the room on
    Trust me, the people on both the top and bottom bunks want to know you got home safely, hear about how many boys/girls you kissed and how you out-drank the boys… before finding the nearest pot-plant to do a sneaky vom in, even if it means they get woken up before their alarm sounds for their 6am train.
  2. Have really loud sex in a 8-person dorm
    After ‘sneaking’ the boy/girl into the dorm and falling over each other laughing in the process. You will score extra friend points if you’re moaning, groaning and grunting blocks out the squeaks made by the metal bed frame.
  3. Leave your wet clothes/dirty underwear/used tissues/used condoms on the floor/bed/someone else’s bed
    Remember sharing is caring.
  4. Invite friends into the dorm in the middle of the night to watch movies
    Your dormies will appreciate it more if it’s 2am, they have work the next day and they can hear it through the headphones. Even more so if there aren’t any headphones involved!
  5. Borrow your dormies clothes/laptop/mp3 players/bags/shoes!
    Remember don’t leave a note and don’t ask when doing this. The dormie will be so happy to see you when you get back and commend you on your good style.

(Note: Please not my sarcasm… but I have a bad feeling some of my dorm mates follow these rules!)

Photo credit: apdk

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  • Reply
    November 11, 2010 at 9:31 am

    I really hope these things haven’t happened to you…the worst thing that’s happened to me is when one of the girls staying with me stole my pillow so her “friend” could have a pillow too. I wasn’t happy when I got back at 4am to no pillow…

  • Reply
    November 21, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    5 rules? Looks like just 1 rule and 1 rule and 1 rule. Lists of things normally increment by one with each successive item.

    Rule 6. Write a blog about your experiences with grammatical mistakes in it that a child in nursery school could spot.

    Go on, share your complete ignorance of the English language with the rest of the world.

    out-drunk > out-drank!
    defiantly > definitely!
    after climbing into the top bunk bed and snuggle into > snuggling! (the two verbs need to be in the same tense)
    to befriend there fellow > their!
    score extra friend points if your moaning > you’re! (the words ‘you’ and ‘are’ joined together)
    if its 2am > it’s! (the words ‘it’ and ‘is’ joined together)

    if you want to be a writer, if you want to be a journalist, if you want to be a blogger, then why not – at the very least – try and learn the language first? Or does The Class of 2010 not need to try?

  • Reply
    November 29, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    Wow that comment is harsh and not even entirely correct.

    How do you know the repeated 1s weren’t deliberate? They could be there to show that each item on the list is of equal importance.

    Granted, drunk isn’t a correct past participle but it is accepted as one in the English language now (check your dictionary).

    ‘Your moaning’ is correct because the moaning has become a noun (hence how I can put ‘the’ in front of it). ‘You’re’ wouldn’t work because then you’d have to verbs in the sentence with neither being an auxiliary (‘your moaning blocks out’… see? ‘you are moaning blocks out’ doesn’t work – because as you quite rightly pointed out, the two verbs for the one object need to be in the same tense.)

    Your points about ‘snuggle’ and ‘it’s’ are correct, but let’s just stop being cruel and pedantic, shall we?

    It’s not a nice feeling, is it?

  • Reply
    November 29, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Oh, and journalists and authors make mistakes too – that’s what proof-readers are for. Yes, there’s an entire profession dedicated to correcting people’s spelling and grammar mistakes.
    I’d suggest you pursue said career but judging by the above you wouldn’t be very good at it.

    On another note, I really enjoyed the article – love the fact you don’t even attempt to veil the irony; it gives it a great, authentic tone.

  • Reply
    Alina Popescu
    November 29, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    I’ve avoided dorms ever since my school days where school trips meant bunking with 3 to 5 other persons 🙂 But I do feel your pain, still. And I also am extremely happy I had far better experiences 🙂

    Anonymous, I know it’s fun to spot mistakes and act as a hero for it, but if you indulge in it, at least open your eyes when reading. “Your moaning…blocks” is perfectly correct. Think in the lines of “Her screams/screaming drove me nuts”. But then again it’s hard to understand such complicated senteces…

  • Reply
    January 26, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    I really hope none of this stuff happened to you!

    P.S who honestly gives a shit about spelling? anyone who corrects other peoples spelling is an idiot.

  • Reply
    July 4, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    Oh my!

    I have always stayed in hotels of varying quality, but I am trying to grow my bravery to flashpack it up around Europe next year..I may yell at someone if any of those happenned to me though!

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