I spent my early teenage years breaking boys hearts. I turned down one boy 16-times despite now looking back and realising our potential relationship would have probably lasted a year.
At 13-years-old I knew that I wasn’t going to go to University in Adelaide, South Australia and didn’t want to be tied down, and the same predicament has continued to find me even now as I choose to expand on my career as a travel writer instead of settling down like so many of my friends.
I was reading Runaway Jane’s post where she too is facing the same dilema, but she made one statement which kind of bugged me –
“I’ve therefore come to the conclusion that the only slight hope of me ever having a long term relationship in the future is to find someone who is willing and able to travel as much as I do.“
A big sports buzzer sound went off in my head when I read this and I thought, “*buzzer noise* – you’re wrong.” It just means that she hasn’t found the right person for her.
Like Jane, I to am a travel-holic and can be a fierce work-a-holic, but that doesn’t stop the heart wanting. I recently read Best Travel Jobs: 7 Jobs That Allow You To Travel The World. I’m excited to try and apply for one or two of them. I’ve fallen for a British boy, an Irish-man and a Brit-turned-Aussie, and whilst I could have stayed in any of the cities to live and work it has always been the fact that I’d want to return to Australia – that place so far away from their homes – even if just for a short while each year, and it has turned them off of pursuing a long-term relationship, and that is okay.
It just means that they aren’t the ‘one’ I’m searching for.
I’m not the type of girl who has lists of features that a boyfriend has to have, but I do have traits I prefer. My idea of a partner is someone that embraces travel but isn’t a travel-holic like me; I want to take them on adventures, but I also want them to do the same. I’m not the type of traveller who wants to be perpetually on the road, so someone who has stability – a job, friends, willing to have a home – would be ideal; but being away so much may create doubt in each others minds, so someone who is ultimately trust-worthy would be key. Also, someone who is independent, and is happy for me to me to be independent, but also relishes time spent together.
It’s a small number of features, and I know they can be found. Let me give you two examples;
A gorgeous girl that I met when visiting Malaysia earlier this year is 27 and married to the ‘perfect’ man. They settled down in Melbourne where her partner has a nice house, stable job, but she missed her family and life in Sydney so she moved back there. Yes, she moved back there and now lives with her friend despite being a married woman. She combats this with bi-monthly trips to Melbourne (or him to Sydney), plenty of phone calls and texts – and they’re happy. Her wanderlust doesn’t end there though. On top of that she lives in New York for around 3-months a year, if her commitments in Australia will let her get away for that long.
She’s a strong, independent woman and the difference is that her partner is accepting of her choices and isn’t standing in her way. They’ve found a healthy way to do what they both love and still love each other.
Another girl I’ve known for a few years has recently found the man of her dreams. She’s dated plenty of men, but none of them were right for her adventurous spirit, or they drove each other mad when he wanted her to settle down and become a house wife. This new guy loves to travel but doesn’t work in travel and prefers the stability that his life and job in New York has, but understands that travel is her business and she won’t stop doing something she loves. Thankful for his understanding and as a ‘happy’ compromise she has dropped her plans to live in Europe and is making New York her (hopefully!) permanent base between trips; and with so many travel related events and as an International hub, what could be better for a jetsetter!
These two situations make me believe it is possible to find someone who embraces me for… well, me! Not every hot man I lay eyes on will be the right one, but one day someone is sure to turn up.
Whilst Jane may need to find a relationship with a digital nomad or a perpetual traveller that’s because that’s right for her, and not all travelling women will feel the same way. If a boyfriend or partner denies you the freedom to travel or do any activity you are passionate about take my advice – perhaps he’s not the right one for you – and go find someone who will support your dreams and you theirs.
I won’t lie – I’m somewhat afraid I’ll end up as a old lady with just her dog for company and hundreds, if not thousands, of memories in her mind, but I also know that in this business life is full of unexpected surprises – like meeting a cute boy when climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge, or having a short-lived summer romance with the Irish-lad with a voice like an angel… when he sung because I didn’t understand him half the time otherwise; or enjoying the company of the British boy and being bowled over by his kindness and compassion to the little Australian girl he met through Twitter.
Who knows what tomorrow, next month or even the next years will hold, but I know that I’ll find someone who loves me and accepts that I won’t be able to be pinned down in one spot forever; and if that’s what you want to do then don’t accept anything less as well.